Activity | Rain Mcknight | SCENE QUEENS®

Rain Mcknight posted an update 13 years, 7 months ago

I hate myself. I hate the way I’ve become. I hate everything about myself. I’ve lost everything. Im abandoned. I can’t move on with the pain in my heart. Its making me sick. I don’t even want to get out of the bed anymore. I want to quit my job. I want to shun my family. I want to end my existence. Im done with a lot. Im tired of messing everything up and no one there to help me fix and find the puzzle pieces. My family hates me and shows me pain.

Abuse, rape, pain, and tears I didn’t even know I had left in my eyes. Why must I push everyone away from me? Does no one love me anymore? I don’t want to be in this world anymore. I know people say its a sin to commit suicide and to hurt themselves enough to die. What is God? He hasn’t helped me out, so why should I believe in something that has never been there for me. The abandonment issues that I live with that rewind my life every second. My parents left me when I was really young. Why would they leave me at such a young age? Getting teased while growing up, weak by hearing mean things people would say about me. No child should have to grow up without there parents. I just want to feel loved. When will my life come together? Ive been raped and molested. In the past and even present day. Having permanent bruises, having physical pains, having a broken heart. Ive cried so much that I’m surprised tears still roll down my face. My eyes should be dry. Why do people keep making my life difficult. I just want to be excepted.. Is it such a horrible thing to want?

I thought I finally found someone that will love me forever, even though I have many flaws. Someone that I could spend my whole life with. Then his love for me has faded and he has givin up on me. My hole world revolved around him. Now, Ive lost him. I have nothing to fall back on.

I can’t go on.

I don’t want to…

Im done.
- SamiBabi replied 13 years, 6 months ago
  
  whoah whoah whoahhhhh you hold it right there young lady. i have no idea how old you are but as soon as youre eighteen you can pack up and leave and start over somewhere new. with new people who know nothing about you and find people who truly care about you and love you. you cant go searching for love,dollface. it’ll come to you. guess what? ill be your new bestestestest friend and ill help you through errythanggg.(: xD im not a creeper i promise but youve got this beautiful life in front of you(even though its basically a pile of shit now) and i cant sit here and read this and pretend it’s okay,”cause it’s not. ive been suicidal. attempted suicide who knows how many times. message me or something if you wanna, dear.
- Carly Crayola replied 13 years, 6 months ago
  
  i know exactly how you feel love.. I’ve been there, and its hell… i had absolutely no one to talk to no one to go to… and going through these feelings your having alone is the worst… people do love you.. don’t ever dout that for a second… your life may seem like total shit right now, but trust me.. things will get better i promise…. please anytime you feel all alone and just need’a talk call me or text me (954) 850-3264
  i’ll be here anytime you need me… i know how you feel and it fuckin sucks!…i don’t wish these feeling apon anyone.. just remember I’m here for you:)